Article/Link: ‘Find X’ and other unusual college essay questions by Valerie Strauss. Published: 11th August, 2011; Accessed: 8th November, 2011.
What, exactly, is the point of college essays? Many of us eleventh graders – and plenty of high school students across the planet, I’m willing to bet – have been pondering that very question. Journalist Valerie Strauss attempts to shed some light on the situation.
In 1975, a Common Application form was created in the United States. The point? Students wouldn’t have to burden themselves with writing multiple essays for each and every college they applied to. Well, fine. One essay per college. Still, that remains a LOT of writing. Hence the brilliant idea of a Common Application. Unfortunately, colleges seem to have once again digressed from that noble goal of saving students untold torture.
In recent times, colleges “seem to try to outdo each other and themselves each year with clever essay prompts. And that means applicants have a lot of essays to write.” Strauss lists examples of “clever” topics for essays from various colleges. And what, I reiterate, is the point? Are essays there to ‘get to know you?’ Why, would you like a cup of tea to go with that? And a platter of biting sarcasm? Or is the purpose of a college essay to gauge a student’s writing ability? Creativity? For crying out loud, students can demonstrate all that perfectly well with a Common Application. It’s the students who are attempting to gain admission – who, exactly, are the colleges trying to get kudos from for their brilliant and witty questions?
I refuse to believe that any sane person can expect to accurately understand the inner workings of a teenager’s mind, their secret thoughts, or the (inappropriate) subject matter of their dreams via two sides of a single sheet of paper. I also refuse to believe that they actually care. No complete stranger wants to ‘know you.’ If they do, it’s just creepy. So what are the remaining options? Writing skills and creativity? Yes, because never, in the history of schooling, has anyone come across shameless plagiarising. As suggested in “The China Conundrum,” it is very easy for students to have someone else write their essays for them. An interview might be much more productive.
Oh, darn. I’ve come back full circle. What, exactly, is the point of college essays? Remind me to never negate all possible answers to a question I pose again.
Vocabulary:
· Throes
o “High school seniors (and/or their parent) are now in the throes of college application essay writing, laboring over every word, punctuation and thought.”
o Throes: violent pangs of suffering. c.1200, throwe "pain, pang of childbirth, agony of death," possibly from O.E. þrawan "twist, turn, writhe,” or altered from O.E. þrea (gen. þrawe) "affliction, pang, evil, threat" (related to þrowian "to suffer"), from P.Gmc. *thrawo (cf. M.H.G. dro "threat," Ger.drohen "to threaten"). Modern spelling first recorded 1610s.
o Woodstock juniors are now in the throes of college application essay writing, labouring over every word, punctuation and thought. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
§ Lost in the throes of passion[ate acting], the cast of Brigadoon did not notice the ceiling of Parker Hall as it started to collapse on their heads.
· Dilemma
o “Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.”
o Dilemma: A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, esp. equally undesirable ones. 1520s, from L.L. dilemma, from Gk. dilemma "double proposition," a technical term in rhetoric, from di- "two" + lemma "premise, anything received or taken," from root of lambanein "to take.”
o The eternal dilemma that all Woodstock students face is this: to skip Chapel and risk detention, or to serve the hours of detention late on a Sunday evening?
· Overanalyse
o “Don’t overanalyze.”
o Overanalyse: To examine methodically and in detail the constitution or structure of (something, esp. information), typically for purposes of explanation and interpretation, in an overly excessive and often counterproductive manner. c.1600, "to dissect," from Fr. analyser, from analyse. Literature sense is attested from 1610s; meaning in chemistry dates from 1660s. General sense of "to examine closely" dates from 1809; psychological sense is from 1909.
o Here at Woodstock, we would never, ever dream of overanalysing a character, plot, or storyline.
